Live Show: Male Objectification

Author: LCARS65
Posted: 05.06.2014

Stardate 51313.8

Admiral Cornelius Starbrite is vacationing aboard his old ship the USS Sisyphus, to join in on some patrols and generally just relax a bit.  Accompanying him is [Holographic] Neil DeGrass Tyson, an educational holodeck program of the 21st Century astrophysicist that's gained sentience, as they always seem to. While scanning a newly discovered Class-M planet, the Sisyphus receives an ominous message from the surface: a taunting challenge of their masculinity. 

Captain Baxter organizes an away team, but finds that only he and Commander Hayes have beamed down to the planet.  Admiral Starbrite has convinced the rest of the crew to stay behind and relax, but this is soon revealed as aruse to steal the ship.  Neil DeGrasse Tyson was appalled by slow speed of the Starfleets explorations, and convinced the Admiral they could create their own spaceship of the imagination. After subduing the crew they set a course to the galactic barrier at maximum warp, with the intent of exploring all points beyond.

On the planet, primitive creatures attack Baxter and Hayes, tearing off the former's shirt while the ominous voice goads them to be more manly. They eventually discover the voice to be the disembodied intelligence of Carl Sagan (created by aliens from the brainwaves stored on the Voyager spacecraft record or something).  This planet and its creatures are his creation, and he's been a little underwhelmed with Baxter and Hayes.  I mean, they're exploring and everything, but couldn't they be bolder about it?

Captain Baxter convinces Sagan to help them, and traveling at impossible speeds in a real Spaceship of the Imagination they quickly catch up to the Sisyphus and best it in combat. Tyson is thrilled to meet Sagan again and explains that much as he wanted to explore the universe, he even more wanted to find his mentor among the stars.  

The reunion is short-lived: Tyson is deactivated until it can be determine his mania for exploration is no threat, while Admiral Starbrite apologizes for his part in the theft of the Sisyphus: Tyson was just too charismatic and convincing.  The crew resolves to fix him ASAP so they can safely learn the secrets to such mysteries as light, color, how we got so many types of dogs.

With Special Guests Jon Butts as Admiral Cornelius Starbrite, John Thibodeaux as Neil DeGrass Tyson.  

Cast: Matt Young as Cpt. Julius V. Baxter, Christopher Rathjen as Cdr. Corbomite Hayes, Griffen Eckstein as LtCdr. Fritz Fassbinder, Roger Payton as Lt. Gerry Gerund, Dan Granata as Computer/Space Carl Sagan.

Author: LCARS65
Posted: 05.06.2014